ttherrealmme's Xanga

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 19:43:56 GMT

[moved]
fill_myvoid

i might drop by here a few times
for old times sake

until then...
tata

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 05:53:06 GMT

you know that you're jealous...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 06:51:43 GMT

tei'gg juqum kabimu pcan eip hiococococo!

what did i say?
you dont know!!

the only person that may know this, would be josh..

we speak that freaky language of freaky freaks

WORK YOUR WITCHCRAFT, TOM CRUISE!

!@#$%^&*()_-=+)(*&^%$#@!

time for and edit;;

[knock on wood] i am no longer sick !
HOORAY!

advice anyone?
1. lost a really good friend
2. gained a not so good one
3. tempted by old memories
4. losing touch with reality

in other news..
4 weeks ..
30 days ..
720 hours ..
43200 minutes ..
86400 seconds ..
[until school]

it amazes me how selfish one can be.
you said all you wanted was to make me happy&
all you wanted was to be with me..
bullshit
you threw everything i ever told you back in my face
then
appologized..
congrats...i hate you.

for you spitler,
yuxeyu pcan wapxc! geg..

SO..
there was this window in this church..
and outside of this window there was this tree..beautiful tree
[recap] big big church...beautiful tree
wedding day..
beautiful gown, beautiful vail
beautiful husband
...one day.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:57:58 GMT

"There are moments in life when you have to stand up and take responsibility....I like to look at those moments, and wave as they pass me by"

or something like that..

<-- still sick
<-- gained internet access back
<-- got slapped by old memories
<-- questioned myself
<-- swallowed my pride
<-- lied
<-- plaid fake
<-- avoided his calls
<-- has a swolled tastebud
<-- got sunburnt

um..yea, still no life.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 16:07:35 GMT

despite the fact that i'm cursed with this overly-exaggerated, melo-dramatic, stupid, annoying, black cloud thats been hanging over my head for about three weeks now, i'm sick.
yessss, sick.

only I, Abby Huffstetler, the me, one and only could manage to get a COLD in JULY...

..is it wrong to feel lonely?
i'm not a depressed person. im not a sad person. most of the time, i am actually pretty happy..or, content, really.
but lately, im lonely. yes, i smile, and yes i laugh...but there is a hole somewhere. i dont know how to fill it. i'll call it my "need to be needed" hole. this hole generates most of my problems. from this hole, spawns my indecisiveness, and insecurities. fucking hole!! the past few days, i've tried to fill it with several things. things...you're not working. sorry, but you're not.

this feeling = what i hate

prince charming...hurry.
please?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 23:04:21 GMT

Help me Jesus.
Help me Jewish God
Help me Tom Cruise!!

life is....[deep sigh]...life?

i smell like dog and theatre camp...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 20:54:01 GMT

I'm putting life on cruise control.

[presses cruise control button]

...sigh//

i'm finished trying to predict people.
it usually always wrong.
usually always.
usually always.
usually always.

good party, jess.
no one died. nothing broken. no one bled. no fights.
good in my book.
do it again sometime.
on october 11 at 2:25 pm.

lucky day.

"we could live through these letters, or forget it all together. see, the months they dont matter, its the days i can't take..when the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away.
just ask the question, come untie the knot. say you wont care, say you wont care.."

i can't help myself..
"and i can't explain why i do what i do. i just do it. im perfectly aware that i am doing it. i want to stop, then again i dont. why i do what i do has no explanation, no thought process, no reason. just you. its always you.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 22:32:29 GMT

"just when i start to find the answers, you go and change questions on me. just be honest, am i what you want or not?"

I have a nasty layer of SixFlags film on me.
ickkk.

Other than the horrible heat, thousands of people, long lines, shortage of money, and wet flip-flops..
i had a great time

moving on
Time for my philosophical babble-flabble.
;;;

You always want what you can't have. Hands down. No questions asked. If you have the least bit of desire for something, and you know you can't have it, you want it at least ten times more. Although, If you still have that "little desire" for something, and you reach achievement, the shine fades fast. It doesn't seem as grand, and it lost its flavor. You do the only thing you know how to do, naturally...you do away with it. then [VUALAHH] you miss it.

Why does the mind have to trick itself into thinking stupid things. Thats exactly it. You can fool yourself into happiness, you can obliviously drown yourself in your own self-pity, you can turn against someone, or form a liking towards another in one day. All thanks to the powers of the human mind. Your mind tends to get stuck in realms. It acts like a broken record when going through severe emotions. Naturally, the "sub-concious" attatches itself to the strongest emotion you have. Hence, depression.

wtf? why am I babbling on about this?
I have no point.
No objective.

Oh well. I give.

let us start over from scratch
make the same mistakes
and cry all over agin

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 01:53:39 GMT

about three hours and eight total ounces of die later, i feel unique.
today was my good day
long awaited and way overdue...but alas, it is here.

red red red red red red red red hair

old abby = gone
new abby = incomplete
current abby = changing

i'm morphing into a totally different person, now.
what i was, i no longer am.
i do believe it's changing for the better.
i'm happier.
i smile more now, and i have no real reason to
i'm walking away and never looking back
i miss the old abby
i think i'll like the new one better.

baggy black pants and guy's tee's are no longer me
i'm acknowledging the fact that i am a lady now

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 18:57:55 GMT

eHarmony.com can bite my ass.
fucking happy internet love, fuck you.
YOUUUU'RREE NOOOOTT RREEAAAAAL!

anyhoo.

"Let us slip back into the realm of reality. Getting slapped in the face with rejection and reality isn't my choice of fiber to follow my soggy cheeros. Love is a tall glass of water, or shall I say rum. The aftertaste is horrible and it burns on the way down. Though the feeling in the middle is priceless. Drink up. Its bittersweet irony."

ooh&
"Life is pain, anyone who tell you differently, is selling something"

pooonanny

[i smiled when i saw theseeee]

sigh of relief.

my mood fluctuates like a bipolar cat playing with yarn during a thunderstorm